


When We Meet As Friends

by wannaliveindeansdimples



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Angst with a Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Sabriel Big Bang, Unresolved Romantic Tension, gabriel has secrets, i don't know how to tag this without giving it away, sam is a mopey puppy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 07:10:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6069982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannaliveindeansdimples/pseuds/wannaliveindeansdimples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Out of the three years Sam has known Gabriel, he’s loved him for about two and a half. Gabriel’s hot and sweet and pretty much perfect. Sam knows Gabriel is gay and he’s never been shy about letting people know how he feels. The only problem? Gabe isn’t exactly what you’d call available. Now a new promotion has them working closely together and Sam’s having a hard time letting go of his feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When We Meet As Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Sabriel Big Bang Posting Day is here!! Sorry it's all in one big chapter, but I'm pressed for time. 
> 
> There are untagged past and present ships in this. Non-explicit ships. Hang in there, I beg you.
> 
> Thanks so much to [Exarchangel](http://archiveofourown.org/users/exarchangel/pseuds/exarchangel) for being my lovely beta and helping make this fic so much better! And huge kudos to [little-dreams-of-life](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F6069373&t=ZmE3OWZkOTFjZmRlYWMxNzZhNmVjMzYxYmNlNTBhZGNmZTNhOGM1NCxsaURQRkNHTA%3D%3D) for the gorgeous artwork!

                                                           

                                            

# Chapter One

 

If the day got any worse, Sam was going to go home and crawl under the bed and never come out again.

The latest disaster in the current string was having to go and see his boss’s boss, since she was one of his least favorite people on the planet. She worked in a different department, and he had to go up three floors and down two hallways to get to her office.

The noise of clacking keys and ringing phones permeated the air around him as Sam walked through the door from the hallway into the cubicle-filled room. He sighed as he stepped through, thinking it was funny this used to be his favorite room in the building. Now he hated it with a passion; it just hurt too much to be here.

He stuck to the far left side of the room, trying to avoid the stocky man with the pale brown hair who sat at one of the open desks on the back right. Rather than a full cubicle, the man Sam was avoiding sat at one of three half-sided cubicles with their open backs facing the rest of the room. The areas in the center were all facing inward toward each other, and the right side was open desks with no cubicle walls at all. Only the left was free from workers.

When he was halfway down the pseudo hallway, Sam breathed a sigh of relief. Even though he was tall enough to be seen over the top of the fabric-covered walls, he had ducked down enough that he didn’t think he could be seen. His long legs still took him to Bela Talbot’s office in a brief period of time. Too brief, since he had no idea what she could possibly want with him. As far as he knew, he hadn’t done anything wrong.

Her secretary, Becky, was an obstacle Sam had forgotten about, so great was his dread of Bela herself and seeing—

“Hi, Sam!” Becky gushed, as she always did. “It’s good to see you! We should really get coffee sometime. I’m free this Saturday, actually. Well, I’m free every Saturday, but—”

“Rebecca!” came Bela’s sharp voice through the intercom. “Has Sam Winchester arrived yet?”

“Yes, ma’am, I was just about to send him through,” Becky squeaked. She gave Sam a terrified look as the intercom signaled that Bela had rung off. “You can, um, go on through,” Becky said, buzzing the door.

“Thanks,” he said, stepping past her desk. He paused and turned back. “And... there’s someone else. Sorry.” He didn’t wait for her response before walking toward the door.

~@~

Sam had been seated in her office for a good ten minutes while Bela chastised someone whose failure was evidently more important than the fact that she had called him in. He was pissed, but he knew better than to let even a minute amount of that show on his face.

“Sam Winchester. Do you know why you’re here?” Bela asked when she finally hung up the phone.

“No, ma’am, I don’t.”

“Well, it would seem that your boss....” She trailed off as she shuffled papers around her desk, while Sam felt his heart pounding in his chest, afraid of her next words. “Well, he feels your work lately has been, shall we say, above average.”

Sam slumped slightly as he let out a breath on a small laugh. “Oh. Wow.”

The corner of Bela’s mouth quirked up a fraction, the most positive expression he thought he’d ever gotten from her. “Yes. I believe his actual words were ‘exemplary performance.’ So, now the question is, what do we do about that?” She shuffled some more papers, withdrawing a few and putting them on the side of the desk closest to Sam.

He scooted to the edge of his seat, ready to take them if instructed.

“For some time now, we’ve been considering starting a new department, but we haven’t had anyone to run it and we didn’t want to hire in. We need someone who already knows the company’s ins and outs.” She lifted the papers. “Here, take a look at this.”

Sam got up and took the stack she held out, looking down at what appeared to be some kind of proposal. From his skimming he saw that he’d be in charge of new acquisitions and would be able to handpick another person to work as his second in command. There was more, but he was having a hard time taking it all in.

“Now, as you can see, you’re allowed to choose a junior partner. Up to you whether you pick from within or hire out. Obviously we’d prefer the former, but we won’t fight you if you want to hire someone new.”

Sam knew right away who would be the best for the job, but it made his stomach simultaneously sink and do flips of excitement. He continued to stare at the paper, nodding and biting his lip.

“All we need to do is hash out the other details. If you’re interested, we’ve drawn up a contract. Get an attorney to look it over for you, if you like. Either way, keep it for a few days and think it over. Then get back to us.”

Bela held out the sheaf of papers and he took it.

“Thanks. Should I call you or just bring it by once I’ve signed it?”

“Drop it with Becky whenever you’re ready. Thank you, Sam. You’re dismissed.”

Sam nodded and tried to smile as he got up. He was excited, but also worried about dealing with Becky again, plus there was the matter of the person at the end of the outer room. He had to go down there now, he knew, to the person he’d avoided on his way in.

“Oh, my gosh, Sam, I’m so sorry!” Becky said in a rush the second the door closed behind him. “I had no idea you had a girlfriend or I never would have asked you out. I mean, you know, I didn’t—”

“Rebecca!” Bela shouted through the intercom. “Please remind Mr. Winchester to bring you his papers when he’s read them over. Then take your lunch, because I need you for my meeting at two.”

“Y-yes, ma’am! Will do,” she stammered. “You, um, heard her. I’d better clock out and go.”

Sam breathed a sigh of relief as he walked away. Then he remembered where he was headed and felt his shoulders tense up more with every step. He did his best to put on a smile that looked easy and not pained.

His stomach was churning with adrenaline and he felt like he had to drag his feet forward, but finally he was standing behind wavy brown hair he wanted so badly to touch. His hands closed into fists as he fought to control the urge. Sam made himself to take a deep breath and smile again.

“Hey there,” he said softly, hoping not to startle the other man.

Gabriel whirled around. “Sam! Hey back to you. I haven’t seen you in at least forever.” He gave a little half smile. “I was beginning to think you were avoiding me on purpose.”

Sam forced out a laugh that he hoped sounded more natural than it was. “Nah, just been busy. Um, I have news, actually.” He swallowed as he took in all the changes since the last time he’d seen Gabriel. “I’m getting a promotion!”

Gabriel’s smile was wide and happy, no trace of reservation that might mean he believed Sam had really been avoiding him.

“That’s wonderful! Have you told Dean yet?”

“No, I actually just came from Bela’s office. Um—”

“Hey, have you been to lunch? Let me take you out to lunch for celebrating! Then you can go to dinner with me and Dean tonight, whaddya say?”

“Oh. Uh, okay. Yeah, that’s... yeah, great,” Sam said, making himself smile again, despite how hard his heart was pounding. “No, I haven’t had lunch yet.”

“Oh, hey, Sam!” called another voice from a few feet away.

“Hi, Chuck. How’s it going?”

Chuck was just a bit taller than Gabriel, with intense pale blue eyes. He was prone to physical affection, slightly exceeding what would be considered normal, but it always seemed comforting to Sam, rather than strange or unpleasant.

Chuck smiled. “It’s good, man. Really good. Been working up here with Gabe a couple of months now. It’s pretty great.”

“Wow, has it been that long?” Sam asked, half to himself.

Chuck shrugged and clasped Sam on the shoulder. “You guys going to lunch too? I’m thinking about hitting up that new taco place.”

Sam wasn’t sure if Chuck was angling for an invite or not, but Gabriel took it out of his hands.

“You should come with us!” Gabriel told Chuck with enthusiasm and a bright smile. “We’re celebrating—” He turned to Sam with a worried look. “It’s no secret, is it?”

“Um, not that I’m aware of, no,” Sam said. He turned to Chuck. “I got a promotion. New department.”

“Oh, wow! Man, that’s great! Yeah, if you’re sure you don’t mind, I’ll tag along, help you celebrate,” Chuck said.

“More the merrier,” Sam said. To his mind, a buffer could only be a good thing. “I just need to stop by my office first. Want me to meet you both in the lobby?”

So they split off, and Sam rushed up to clock out. He wondered vaguely if he’d still have to clock out when he had his new position. Then he wondered whether to bring up his need for a partner to Gabriel at lunch, or if it would be better to wait for dinner. He suspected dinner would be a better time. At his desk, as Sam waited for the logout screen to load, he sent Dean a text.

**ME: Hey, guess who just got a promotion?!**

Then he logged out and headed for the elevator. He spotted Gabriel and Chuck and waved at them as he headed for the door. Sam always drove when they went out, by virtue of the fact that he couldn’t squeeze easily into either of their cars. They were both under five foot ten, so they drove small cars into which his six foot five frame just wouldn’t fold.

They met him at his SUV and climbed in, Chuck automatically grabbing the backseat. Gabriel buckled in, smiling at Sam in a way that had the taller man’s heart flip-flopping in his chest. He smiled back, though he tried not to let his feelings show in his face.

He let Chuck and Gabriel talk between themselves as he drove them to the restaurant, as he thought back to the first time he’d ever seen Gabriel. He’d only been working in the office for a couple of weeks when he’d been sent to Bela’s floor, for some reason he’d now forgotten.

Gabriel had smiled at him, and Sam had felt an instant connection to the man. Those large greenish-hazel eyes, so different from his own blue-flecked hazel ones, had been wide, guileless, and full of light and curiosity. Sam had stared into them for too long a moment before smiling shyly and saying hello.

“—up there,” Gabriel said from the passenger seat.

“What?” Sam asked, having no idea what they’d been talking about.

“The taco place is right up there,” Gabriel repeated, pointing off to their right.

“Oh, right, sorry.”

“You’re probably pretty psyched about the new job, huh?” Chuck asked from the back seat. “I’d have a hard time concentrating too.”

Sam smiled at Chuck in the rear view mirror, grateful for the excuse, even if it wasn’t true. They pulled into the parking lot and Sam searched for a space. The place wasn’t entirely packed, but it was full enough. He finally found a spot not too far from the door and swung into it.

He couldn’t help a small smile as he watched the shorter men navigating the distance to the ground. It had been so long since either of the others had been in his car, he’d forgotten just how high it was for them. He turned away quickly before they could see his amusement and get upset.

They’d barely gotten inside the doorway when they were greeted by a small brunette in a bright red uniform.

“How many in your party, sir?”

“Uh, three.”

“Okay, right this way, please.”

They were taken to a small round table in the corner, and no sooner had they arrived than a guy only slightly taller than their hostess brought them glasses of water, a bowl of tortilla chips and some salsa. Evidently he was not their waiter, however, because he quickly disappeared.

“Hi, I’m Sarah and I’ll be your wai—Sam? Hey!”

Sam plastered on a smile, while groaning internally. It was Sarah Blake, his ex-girlfriend. She was, in fact, the girl he had dumped when he realized he had started having feelings for Gabriel. Sam was thankful he hadn’t told her the full reason why. Otherwise lunch would be really awkward.

“Hey, Sarah! How’ve you been?”

“Great! We should catch up sometime, yeah?”

“Y-yeah, sure, that’d be... great.” He cringed inside as he realized he used her word.

“All right, cool. Well, have you guys been here before?” She waited while they all shook their heads. “Okay, well how it works is, you pick toppings and shells and we bring enough for five tacos each to the table, and you make your own tacos. It’s five dollars per person per round. Drinks are not included and there are some toppings that cost extra.” She smiled and patted Sam on the shoulder. “I’ll give you guys a minute to look at the menu.”

Gabriel was giving Sam an inscrutable look when she left the table. “That the same Sarah you used to date?”

“Uh, yeah,” Sam said, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Yeah, same one.”

“Wow. She’s pretty,” Chuck said. He smiled shyly. “I’m terrible with women. Too awkward.” He looked at Gabriel. “Guess you don’t have to worry about that, though, huh?”

“Excuse me. Bathroom,” Sam said, getting up from the table in what he hoped didn’t look like a hurry. “If she comes back, just order me the same as whatever you’re getting, Gabe,” he said over his shoulder.

He didn’t go into the bathroom itself, just stood in the hallway and leaned against the wall, head down.

                                              

# CHAPTER TWO

Sam didn’t go into the bathroom itself, just stood in the hallway and leaned against the wall, head down. His phone vibrated a few times in his pocket and he pulled away from the wall with a frown. He pulled it out to look, and felt both brotherly warmth and a sick dread in the pit of his stomach.

**DEAN: DUDE!!!! That’s awesome! I’m making you dinner!**

**DEAN: Just drive over with Gabe and one of us can drive you back to your car later.**

**DEAN: Probably him since you know we’re gonna have celebration shots ;P**

On the one hand, Sam knew he’d be getting his favorite meal. He also hadn’t seen his brother in forever, and he really missed him. On the other hand, he’d hoped they’d go out to dinner. It would make the whole evening less awkward—not to mention shorter and less filled with alcohol. Instead, he’d be trapped at Dean’s with Gabe, and he just wasn’t sure he could handle it. Lunch was already not going well.

He was leaning there against the wall, massaging his forehead with his fingers, when Sarah walked past and spotted him.

“Sam? You okay? You look a little green around the gills.”

“Hey, yeah. Just, um....” He considered making an excuse, but found he was very tired of pretending this particular problem didn’t exist. “You know what? No, not really.”

“Well, listen, you know there’re no hard feelings here, right? If you need a friend....”

“That wouldn’t be weird for you? I know being told the person you’re dating has feelings for someone else isn’t the preferred way to end a relationship, even if it was a pretty casual one.”

Sarah smiled at him warmly. “Sam, I found a great guy after you and I broke up. _The_ guy. And you were honest with me, which was more than I got from most of the men I ever dated. We were better as friends. And it seems like maybe you need one of those.”

“Will you come to dinner with me tonight at my brother’s?” he blurted before he could second guess it.

“Um... okay?”

Sam closed his eyes and got a hold of himself. “Sorry, it’s just... there’s an awkward situation. The person I had feelings for when we broke up... he didn’t return the feelings.” Sarah’s eyes widened just slightly, but she otherwise showed no reaction to this news. “It’s actually the sandy-haired guy I’m having lunch with. Anyway, he’s going to be there and if you could go with me, give me a buffer and also a reason not to ride over there with him, that would just be really helpful.”

She nodded. “Yeah. Okay. I mean, I need to check with Robert to make sure we don’t have any plans that I forgot, but otherwise, I’m okay with that.” She scrutinized him. “Am I going to have to pretend to be your date?”

“No! No, nothing like that.”

“All right. Well, I go off shift at five, so you can pick me up after work.” She stepped closer and dropped her voice. “And on the ride over, you are going to tell me this whole story.” She tapped him on the nose with a finger and then walked away.

Sam took a shaky breath and headed back for the table. He saw Gabriel looking around, a concerned expression on his face. Then Gabe spotted him and broke into a smile. Fuck if that didn’t cut right through him. He looked so happy to see Sam, but it would never be for the reason Sam wanted it to be. Why couldn’t he get over this?

“Hey,” he said, smiling and taking his seat.

“Hey, Sam. Sarah hasn’t come back yet.” Gabriel was fiddling with his napkin.

“Oh, uh, yeah, we ran into each other by the bathrooms. She’s actually going to come with me to dinner tonight, if that’s cool with you? Dean says he’s making dinner.”

“Yeah, he texted me too. And of course you can bring Sarah. Looks like we’re riding home together, huh?”

“Um, actually, I was gonna give Sarah a ride.”

“Well, she can just ride with us, right? You know Dean’s not going to let you off without at least a few shots, and you won’t be able to drive.”

“Oh.” _Dammit_. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

Sarah chose that moment to pop up again. “Hi, guys, you ready to order?”

Sarah got their orders and Sam explained the ride situation to her. She put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and squeezed. For whatever reason, it helped. He was glad he’d invited her.

Chuck’s lack of love life took over the lunch conversation after that and Sam was grateful.

~@~

“Gosh, it really does feel like it’s been forever since you came to the house, Sam. How long has it been?” Gabe fastened his seatbelt and waited for Sam to do the same before pulling out of the parking space.

“Oh, has it? I’m not sure how long. I’ve just been busy, y’know?”

Gabe gave him a searching look as they waited at the stop light to exit the lot. “Oh, yes? Busy with what? Since you invited Sarah tonight, I assume it’s not with a new girlfriend.”

“Just, you know, work projects or whatever.” Sam forced a laugh that he hoped sounded natural. “Not getting this promotion for nothing!”

Gabriel seemed to relax at that. “Yes, I’m sure that’s true, Sam. You’ve worked hard and you’ve earned it. I’m very happy for you.”

“I get to pick a junior partner and an assistant too, did I tell you?”

“Oh, wow, really? Any idea who you’re going to choose?”

Sam chewed his lip. He knew the right thing to do—because he was the best one for the job—was to take Gabe on as his partner. He just didn’t know if he could handle it.

“I have some people in mind, but I haven’t made any decisions yet.” That was true enough.

“Well, you know, as far as assistants go, you should really think about hiring our Chuck. That’s what he used to do before he ended up in my department. He’s really good.”

“Yeah? Hm, that’s definitely an option. I like Chuck.”

“He is quite good people,” Gabe said.

That little hint of awkwardness in his speech was the only indicator Sam had noticed all day that Gabriel wasn’t from around here. Most of the time he completely forgot that Gabe wasn’t a native. Of course, Gabriel had gone to great lengths to lose his accent and learn colloquial speech, so it wasn’t surprising.

At the taco place, Sam got out, so that Sarah would be able to see him. She looked a little confused that he wasn’t there by himself, but he gave a little head shake and she shrugged and nodded. He gave her the front seat and got into the back. It was both better and worse. He wasn’t in such close proximity to Gabe, but he had a harder time not looking at him, now that he was more in Sam’s line of sight.

“Sarah, this is Gabriel. I don’t think you two ever met when you and I were going out, did you?”

“Um, no, we didn’t. I heard a lot about you, though,” Gabe told her with a friendly smile.

“Oops, hope it was good things!” She grinned. “So how do you two know each other? Did you meet at work?”

Gabriel laughed and Sam felt the burn in his stomach, suspecting he knew what was coming. After all this time, it still hurt to hear it out loud.

“Well, yes, we do work for the same company, but Sam just got promoted, so he’s going to be a supervisor now.”

Sam huffed a laugh himself, mostly in relief. Their other connection was going to come up soon, but he had a few more minutes to pretend that link didn’t exist and he was grateful for them. It probably wasn’t healthy, but the easiest way for him to deal with it was to not think about it. That didn’t work for other things in his life, but it really did for this.

“Wow, Sam, congratulations! That’s pretty exciting, huh?”

“Thanks. That’s why Dean’s making me dinner tonight, actually.”

Gabriel smiled over at Sarah before negotiating a turn. “Dean will be happy to see you. Sam hasn’t been dating much and his brother worries.”

“Oh, no, Sarah and I are just friends now, Gabe. She’s with someone else. I just thought she and I could catch up, and maybe Dean wouldn’t make me drink so much if I brought a guest.” He did his best to put a teasing note in his voice, but inside his guts were churning. Gabriel suggesting he needed to date was not something he wanted to hear.

“Sam’s pretty good at knowing his own heart, I think,” Sarah said. “He’ll date when he thinks it’s right.”

“Thanks, Sarah.”

“The right girl will come along, Sam. Don’t worry. I’m sure of it. You’re too special to be alone for long.”

He didn’t bother to correct Gabe on the pronouns. The words just cut so deep. They were obviously heartfelt, but they weren’t meant in the way Sam longed for them to be meant, and it just made it so much harder. Gabriel thought he was a great guy, but it would never be enough. Sam was regretting agreeing to dinner.

Sarah caught Sam’s eye in the visor mirror, a questioning look in her eyes. She knew he was pansexual, so he supposed she might wonder if he was out to his other friends and family. He was, so he decided to answer her unspoken question by correcting Gabe.

“Or guy, Gabriel.”

“Or guy what, Sam?” Gabe was concentrating on stopping the car at a busy intersection, so he seemed to only half be paying attention to the conversation.

“Right girl or guy will come along.”

Thankfully, they were at a stoplight, because Gabe whipped his head around to look at Sam. “What are you talking about?” His voice was sharp, and Sam was confused. Gabe hadn’t known? He couldn’t be homophobic, but he seemed shocked.

“Gabriel, I’m pansexual. I know I told you.”

Gabe gave him a sheepish smile and said, “Pretend for a moment that I’m from another country and didn’t know what that meant, and just nodded and smiled because I didn’t want to appear ignorant.”

Sam had to laugh. “You really didn’t know?”

“I really didn’t.” Sam thought Gabe seemed a little sad, but he was sure it was just misinterpretation on his part. “I assume it is like bisexual? Which I confused with bicycle when I first got here,” Gabe told Sarah in a teasing aside.

“Oh, hush, you did not!”

Gabe changed the subject and Sam tried not to spend the next few minutes pining.

When they got to the house, Dean immediately yanked him into a crushing bear hug. Then he hugged Sarah politely—they’d met a couple of times when Sam and Sarah were dating. Finally, Dean pulled Gabriel to him in a kiss that had Sam turning away—and wanting to throw up and cry and punch something all at once.

“So, Sarah, I see you’ve met my handsome husband Gabe here. So what do you think? I did good, huh?”

Sarah did a good job of turning her fish with no water look into a polite smile. “Oh, you sure did, Dean. I’m, uh, really impressed.”

Sam had to turn away from her pitying look as they walked into the house. He felt sorry enough for himself. He didn’t need her feeling sorry for him too. He just needed to get through dinner without giving anything away.

He hadn’t seen the two of them in a long time, in hopes that his feelings for Gabriel would dull, but the afternoon had proven that was not the case. If anything, seeing Gabriel again only reminded him of all the reasons he had feelings in the first place. And seeing Gabriel with Dean again was as much a knife to the chest as it had been the very first time.

Dinner went relatively smoothly. They stuck mostly to generic topics and Sarah didn’t ask any questions about Dean and Gabe, but Sam should have known that Dean would bring the subject up anyway. No sooner than Gabriel went into the kitchen, Dean was turning the topic back to the two of them.

“So, I bet you were kinda shocked to see me hitched, huh?” Dean asked Sarah, in between bites of the pie they were having for dessert.

She shot Sam an apologetic look while Dean was looking down at his plate again. “Well, it took me by surprise, that’s for sure. Never pegged you for settling down.”

“Me, neither, believe me.”

Dean smiled at Gabe as he walked back in the room and Sam felt like an uncharitable asshole. Dean looked happy, as he had since he and Gabriel had first gotten together.

“Then I met this guy and it changed my whole outlook on marriage, didn’t it, babe?”

To Sam’s admittedly-biased eye, Gabriel didn’t look as happy to discuss how they’d met as Dean did. Sam was happy about that and immediately felt more like an asshole. Did he really want his brother to be unhappy, just because he was? The answer was, no, of course he didn’t.

As penance, Sam forced himself to say, “It was a regular whirlwind romance.” He hoped the smile he gave looked more genuine and less like it was about to crack open his face than it felt like. “They met on a Tuesday and got married the following Sunday.”

Sarah looked shocked again. “Oh. Wow, that’s fast! I guess when you know, you know, huh?”

“Dean, this is Sam’s night. We should talk about his new promotion!” Gabriel said.

Try as he might, Sam couldn’t stop the warm feelings that spread through him when Gabe wanted to talk about him instead of Gabriel’s own relationship. Still, he did feel bad for Dean, who looked guilty.

“Shit, Sam, sorry!” He got up with his empty pie plate and walked around to Sam’s side of the table. “Here I am running my mouth about the past, and you’ve got this big news happening, man! I’m so freaking proud of you!” He clapped Sam on the shoulder soundly before picking up Sam’s empty pie plate and starting to exit the room. “Be right back and you can tell me all about it!”

                                              

# CHAPTER THREE

The rest of the evening was relatively painless for Sam. They talked about his work, which helped—though things did get a little uncomfortable when Dean suggested he take on Gabriel as his partner. Sarah helped him skate past the issue without ever giving an answer, for which he was grateful.

The biggest surprise of the evening was that Gabe decided to do shots with Dean instead of Dean making Sam do it. Sam did do one, since he’d stuck with water for most of dinner, but Gabe and Dean didn’t stop at one or even two. The fact that they claimed to be toasting him didn’t convince him it was a good idea, but they didn’t go too overboard.

What that meant, though, was that Sam was given the keys to Gabriel’s car in order to drive Sarah back to her car. After that, Dean suggested he come back and Gabriel could drive Sam to work the next morning. Sam wasn’t sure that was something he wanted, but he and Sarah said their goodbyes and headed out, regardless. They were silent all the way to the car and as they got in. Sarah was the one to finally break the quiet.

“Well, that was unexpected.” She busied herself with her seatbelt as she said it, not looking at him as he started the car.

Sam didn’t bother to pretend that he didn’t know what she meant. “Yeah, you’re telling me. I mean, I’ve have time to get used to it, but it was a shock when I found out. It still kind of is, actually.”

“When did it even happen? I mean, I take it Gabriel doesn’t know how you feel, so....”

Sam sniffed and cleared his throat before answering. “No, I never got a chance to tell him, actually.” As he spoke, his mind went back in time.

_He had left Sarah’s house feeling a little sick to his stomach, but still better than he had on the way over. She’d taken it well, all things considered. She was great, but he just couldn’t continue on with her, knowing there was someone else he really wanted to be with._

_He felt a little thrill when he thought about talking to Gabriel the next day. He needed the night to prepare exactly what he was going to say. When he’d gone out with Sarah in the first place, he’d been trying to deny what he thought was a crush on his straight friend. Then he’d learned Gabe was actually gay. Once that happened, it was only a matter of time before he’d realized it was more than a crush._

_Sam was halfway home when his phone rang, Dean on the caller ID._

“Right after you and I broke up—I mean, literally minutes later—Dean called and asked me to come over. When I showed up, Gabe was already there.”

_He had no idea what could have Dean so excited. He’d been working the same job for years and loving it, so presumably it wasn’t career-related. He hadn’t had a serious relationship in... ever. So it probably wasn’t dating-related, either. Giving up on that train of thought, he let his mind wander back to Gabe. He really hoped tomorrow would have the outcome he wanted. He supposed he’d have to wait and see._

_A few minutes later, he pulled into Dean’s driveway, surprised to see another car besides the Impala. It gave him a little kick in the stomach because it looked so similar to Gabriel’s car. He frowned. Dean hadn’t mentioned anyone else being here. Sam was nervous now, and he wasn’t sure why. Then he saw the sticker on the back driver’s side window and realized that_ was _Gabe’s car. He’d just introduced them a few days before. Were they hanging out now?_

_He shrugged it off and walked up to the door. It was opened before he could even knock. Dean was grinning from ear to ear and pulled him inside and into a hug._

“Oh, wow, Sam. That must have sucked!” Sarah looked confused as Sam backed out of the driveway.

“Yeah. It was like being sucker punched.”

_Gabriel, smiling shyly, stepped over and Sam felt his heart lurch. Whatever this was, he knew instinctively he wasn’t going to like it. He had no idea what was going on, but he felt sick, anyway. He did his best to keep it off his face. Gabe and Dean looked so damned happy. What the hell was going on?_

_Dean grabbed Gabe and wrapped his arm around when he was close enough, pulling him flush up against him. Sam felt a stab of possessiveness that he quashed. Dean grinned down at Gabriel and nodded, then they each held up their left hands. Sam caught a glint of gold from each of their hands and thought he might either throw up or pass out, but he forced himself to keep a smile on his face as they both turned to look at him._

_“We got married, Sammy!” Dean looked like he was announcing he’d won the lottery._

“I can’t even imagine,” Sarah whispered. “But… I always got the impression that you and Dean were really close, though. How come you’d never told him how you felt about Gabe?”

Sam sighed as he pulled onto the street. “We _were_ close. Well... still are, I guess, even though I don’t see him much these days.” He ran a hand through his hair, tugging lightly to ground himself. “His job that year had gotten kind of crazy. He was out of town more often than not, and I had only seen him a few times in six months or so. Once was with you and once was when I introduced him to Gabriel, so even then I didn’t really have a lot of opportunities to bring it up.” He laughed. “And I _was_ dating you at the time and trying to get over him, so….”

Sarah didn’t say anything for a while, just looked out the window. Sam just drove, not even trying to change the subject. It had been so good to see Dean and Gabriel tonight, even if it did bring up all his feelings and make it all harder.

“I’m sorry, Sam. I really am. All this time, I’ve been hoping you had managed to find what I found with Robert.” She smiled over at him. “I mean, I always knew you were a great guy. I wanted things to work out for you.”

Sam managed a return smile that was genuine. “Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you found Robert. You deserve that. I thought you were a great person too.” He turned back to the road to navigate a turn. “Thanks a lot for coming with me tonight. I don’t think I could’ve made it without cracking if you hadn’t been there to help.”

“You’re welcome. I enjoyed it. It’s good to see you again.” She shook her head. “I assume you’ve tried getting over him, so you must have it bad, especially since you said you avoid them as much as possible.”

Sam sighed. “Well, at the beginning, I thought, ‘He’s married to my brother. I’ll be able to put it behind me. I have to.’” He laughed, without much humor. “Turns out it wasn’t that simple, after all. Dean’s job didn’t slow down after he and Gabriel got married. If anything, it got even worse.”

_“Sam, look, I hate to ask, but I’m gonna be gone for nearly a month. Can you spend some time with Gabe, make sure he’s doing okay? I feel shitty leaving him alone so soon after we got married, but it’s either that or quit this job, and I can’t do that.”_

“For the next six months, Dean was gone way more than he was home. And every time he left, he asked me to step in.” Sam turned onto the street the restaurant was on. “I had already fallen for Gabriel just from knowing him at work and spending a night hanging out here or there. Once I started spending more time with him outside of work, though....” Well, he’d turned out to be even more wonderful than Sam had previously thought.

“So instead of getting over him after he and Dean got married, you fell even harder.” Sarah frowned at him as he pulled into the parking lot. “That’s my car over there.”

“Thanks again, Sarah.” He pulled up next to her car and put the lever up to Park. “Look, I know I have no right to ask this, but do you think we could stay in touch? Be friends, maybe? I could really use someone to talk to about this and it was actually fun hanging out with you tonight at dinner.”

“Yeah, Sam, I think we could do that. Robert will probably want to meet you, though, if we’re going to keep hanging out. You cool with that?”

“I’d really like to meet him, actually.” Sam meant it.

“Great! Well, I’d better go, and you still have to drive back to Dean’s and give Gabe his car back.”

“Okay. I’ll wait to make sure your car starts and then I’ll head out.”

She smiled and got out. Sam thought what a shame it was they hadn’t been able to click in a romantic way two years ago. His life would be infinitely simpler now, if he’d fallen for Sarah instead of Gabriel.

The idea of seeing Gabe again so soon made his heart ache. He decided to just drop Gabriel’s car at the office parking garage and let them pick it up the next day. It was their own fault Sam hadn’t had his car and had had to drive himself home, after all. Sighing, he dialed Dean’s number to let him know the change of plans.

~@~

Back at home, Sam lay in bed, tossing and turning. He knew Gabriel was the best person for the job, and he knew Gabe deserved a promotion. He’d be easy to work with and would make Sam’s work life infinitely easier.

His emotional life, on the other hand, would be even more of a shambles than it already was. Those last few months spending time with Gabriel while Dean was away had been hell. All he’d wanted every night was to curl up next to Gabe and fall asleep. Instead, at the end of every span of weeks he spent falling more in love with Gabriel, Dean would come home and get to have everything Sam wanted.

Dean was his brother and his best friend. He couldn’t afford to start resenting him. He was afraid that would happen if he was working with Gabe every single day.

“I’m such an asshole,” he told his dark, empty room.

Not really knowing what else to do, he decided to pray. It wasn’t something he did frequently, but it certainly wasn’t the first time he’d tried it. He wasn’t sure if there was anyone up there, but he wasn’t getting anything accomplished on his own, so he was willing to ask for help from whatever power may or may not have existed in the universe. Might not help, but it couldn’t hurt, right?

“God, I don’t know if you’re out there or if my puny little life even matters, but... I’m having a hard time right now. I love Gabriel so much. I don’t know how to stop. He’s Dean’s husband, and I feel like the worst brother in the world, _and_ the worst friend.” He sighed and sat up, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “I know I should hire him to work with me, but I don’t know if I’m strong enough to handle that. I want to be. If you’re up there, I guess I’m asking for your help doing that. Or maybe just knowing whether to hire him.” He heaved another sigh. “Thanks. And amen, I guess.”

He still didn’t know what to do, but having said the words out loud, it was as though he had expelled the obsessive nature of his thoughts. He suddenly felt very tired and his head no longer whirled. He lay back down and was close to sleep within moments. His last thought before drifting off was, _If I really love him, then I should want what’s best for him and not myself._ He fell asleep before he could argue the point with himself.

                                              

# CHAPTER FOUR

Sam’s resolve wavered six times on the way from his office to Gabriel’s cubicle, but he kept walking forward. He’d made his decision, and he knew it was the right one. He’d woken up knowing it and he wasn’t sure how. Still, it was a scary prospect and he was going to take Gabe to lunch on top of it. All in all, a momentous and terrifying morning.

As it always did, the sight of Gabriel, dark golden hair catching the light and hazel eyes sparkling, made Sam’s heart do somersaults, leaving him breathless and faintly unsettled, but also buoyed in a way nothing—and no one—else could ever achieve. He smiled despite his pain, and knew for certain he was making the right choice.

Gabe was a light in a bleak world—and lights deserved to be protected. Even if Sam himself had to go through hell to make it happen.

“Hey, Gabe.”

Gabriel’s face lit up as he turned, obviously pleased to see him. It made Sam’s heart hurt a little, but in a good way for once.

“Heya, Sam! Two days in a row I get to see you? The gods are smiling on me this week.” His grin said he absolutely meant his words.

Sam didn’t know what to do about that, so he just laughed and pretended he hadn’t been avoiding Gabe for months.

“Well, listen, do you wanna have lunch again today? Just us, preferably. I wanna run something by you.”

Gabriel’s smile got even bigger. “I’d love to! You ready now?”

“Um, I can leave whenever you’re ready. I need to swing by my friend’s law firm to drop off some papers, if that’s okay? If it is, we can take my car. Otherwise, we should meet there.”

“Of course, that’s fine, Sam.” Gabriel stood and patted him on the arm. “Ready when you are, my friend.”

Sam gave him a smile, ignoring the little spark of warmth he felt where Gabe had touched him. Then he quietly led the way through the building and parking lot to his car.

“Sorry I drank so much last night.” Gabriel looked slightly embarrassed as he said it.

Sam had to laugh at that as he opened his door and folded into the seat. “It’s no problem. You’ve seen me drunk plenty of times.”

“Yes, but last night was your night. I should’ve let you celebrate. I was very selfish.” Gabriel’s face was solemn.

“What?” Sam was genuinely incredulous. “Dude, you’re one of the _least_ selfish people that I know. You....” He swallowed hard, remembering the days before Gabe had married his brother and all the things he’d done that helped Sam fall hard for him. “You’re always going out of your way for other people.”

Now Gabriel laughed. “Hardly out of my way. I think you’ve forgotten how many pranks I’ve pulled on my coworkers during my tenure at this firm, Sam.”

“Oh, I haven’t forgotten.” Sam glanced at him as he backed out of the parking space. “I still owe you for that time you replaced my staples with wet graham crackers.” He started forward, mindful of how insanely his coworkers drove through the lot. “That doesn’t erase the time you did that whole report for me because you knew I’d driven all night to pick up Dean when he had that wreck.” _You didn’t even know him then. Wanna talk about selfish? I wish I’d never introduced you._

“You’re a good brother, Sam. No reason for you to be punished for that.” Gabriel turned to look out the window, so his voice was muffled when he spoke again. “That’s why I have thought for the past six months or so that you must be very angry with me to stay away from him like this.”

Sam was struck speechless for several seconds, and he stared at Gabriel for a moment rather than exiting the lot. Gabriel didn’t look back at him, and he finally shook his head and made the turn onto the street.

“I’m not angry with you Gabe. Not at all.” _I’m just completely in love with you, but you’re married to my brother and everything hurts now when I look at you._

Gabriel turned then, eyes sadder than Sam had ever seen them. “Then why, Sam? Dean thought at first that it was him, but we both knew you were likely to speak out, if he had done something that upset you.” Gabe sighed, turning back toward the window. “Then last night... did you bring Sarah just to avoid being alone with me?”

“Gabriel, that’s not....” Sam sighed and made the turn into the parking lot of Brady’s firm. “Look, let me take these papers up to my friend and we’ll talk about this when I get back, all right?” He waited for Gabriel’s nod, then got out of the car.

All the way across the lot and up to Brady’s office, Sam’s stomach churned and his mind whirled. All this time Dean and Gabe had thought he was upset with one or both of them? He felt like an asshole, but what could he do? It wasn’t like he could just confess his feelings to explain his absence.

Then again, what other option did he have? Dean wasn’t such a big deal. He’d know that even if Sam _was_ angry, he’d get over it eventually. Gabriel, on the other hand probably deserved an explanation. No, not even probably. He _did_. Sam considered making up a story, but didn’t come up with a plausible one before he arrived at Brady’s office.

Thankfully, Brady, who could be chatty, was busy when Sam arrived, so he was able to get in and get out without it taking more than a minute or two. Brady was happy to look over the papers and promised to have them couriered over as soon as he was finished with them, so Sam didn’t need to make a return trip.

On the way back downstairs, Sam considered and discarded several lies to tell Gabriel, in order to explain why he’d been distant. He’d told him he’d been busy with work, but evidently, neither Gabe nor Dean believed that excuse. And apparently bringing Sarah with him the night before—though effective—had made his lies more obvious. He still hadn’t come up with anything by the time he reached the car. Maybe he’d just try to sell the busy with work lie more convincingly.

As soon as he opened the door, though, Gabe was apologizing.

“Sam, I’m sorry I said all that stuff. I think I’m just hungry. Let’s not speak of it anymore, all right?” Gabe smiled and it looked genuine, if slightly pained.

Sam didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth so he smiled back. “It’s forgotten. I’m pretty hungry myself.” He realized he’d never told Gabe why he’d asked him to lunch. “Actually, I did have a reason for inviting you to lunch today, and when you hear it, I think you’ll be pretty convinced that I’m not angry with you.”

Gabriel looked intrigued, but said nothing.

“Um, I kind of planned to bring it up at the restaurant, but I guess now is as good a time as any.” He took a deep breath. “So, I told you that I get to hire a junior partner, right?”

“I believe you mentioned it, yes. And I will say again that I think your assistant should be Chuck. He would be a very good one for you, I promise.”

“I think you’re right about that, but for the junior partner... I think you’re the best person for the job.”

Sam could feel Gabriel staring at him, but he couldn’t turn to look, traffic was too hectic just then. When he was finally able to look at him, Gabriel was staring down at his hands, an awed look on his face. When he realized Sam was looking, he looked up and smiled, saying nothing.

Conversation stalled for a few minutes because traffic was snarled again due to an accident, and Sam had to concentrate on navigating through it. Once they were out of the worst, the restaurant Sam considered “theirs” was visible up ahead.

“Oh, I’ve missed this place! Tell me that’s where we’re going,” Gabe said, almost bouncing in his seat.

“You haven’t been here lately?” Sam hadn’t either, mainly because it reminded him too much of Gabriel, but Gabe didn’t have that problem.

“No, not since the last time we came here together.”

“You never came here with Dean?” Sam pulled into the lot, then glanced at Gabriel in question.

Gabe snorted in response. “Can you really see Dean in a place like this?”

“I’m sure for you, he’d do it.” Sam ignored the twist in his stomach the reminder of how much Dean seemed to care for Gabe brought.

The smile left Gabriel’s face and he stared at Sam as he pulled into the parking space. When Sam parked, it looked like Gabe wanted to say something, but instead he closed his mouth, shook his head, and got out of the car without another word.

“Gabe? You okay?” Sam asked as he got out too.

“I’m fine. I just forgot to use the restroom before we left the office. Will you get us a table?”

With that he rushed away, leaving Sam feeling off-kilter. _What the hell was that about?_ Shaking his head in confusion, he headed into the restaurant after Gabriel.

                                              

# CHAPTER FIVE

They kept to idle chitchat until they had their food ordered. After a few more minutes, Gabriel returned to their previous conversation.

“You really want me to be your junior partner? I’m very flattered, Sam, but are you sure I’m the right person?”

“Of course, I’m sure.” _Not that I’m sure I can handle working with you_. “You always make it a point to learn more than you have to, you’re always on top of all your projects, and you always keep up to date on what everyone else is doing, too.”

Gabriel remained unconvinced. “But I don’t even work in your department. How do you know I’ll be any good at this?”

“Gabe,” Sam said, smiling. “It’s not a job in my department or yours. It’s a brand new division. Plus, I know how smart you are and how quickly you catch onto things.” Since he didn’t have a drink yet, Sam fidgeted with his napkin. “I mean, look at you. You’ve only been in the country a few years, but already, you’ve picked up native English so well that I can barely tell you’re from Denmark, and I _know_ you are. Other people don’t have any idea unless you tell them.”

Sam smiled at the waitress as she arrived with their drinks and salads. When she was gone, he turned back to Gabe. “Like I was saying, assimilating into the culture like you have, that takes brains and dedication, and probably a lot of other good qualities that you obviously have. Of course I want you on my team. That’s exactly what I need from whoever helps me.” He took a long sip of his chai tea, looking away from Gabriel before he spoke again. “Plus, I trust you.” He shrugged and turned his attention to his salad without looking back up at Gabe.

They ate in relative silence for several minutes, but as soon as his salad was finished, Gabriel set his fork aside and cleared his throat.

“If you can say all of those kind things about me, then it would seem that I was mistaken. You couldn’t be angry with me and be so kind. I thank you and I apologize for accusing you of being disingenuous. If you are being given your own department, of course you’ve been busy with work.”

Gabriel smiled at him then—beamed, really—and Sam debated the merits of just leaving it there, just letting Gabe believe the lie that Sam had only stayed away because he was working hard for this promotion. Looking into those guileless hazel eyes, though, he found he couldn’t. Suddenly, the air was very thick because Sam _needed_ for Gabriel to know the truth. To know what Sam felt for him.

Sam didn’t expect some heartfelt confession. Quite the opposite. He expected a polite thank you from Gabriel and a reminder that his heart belonged to Dean. Maybe that would be that. Maybe having Gabe say outright that he had no feelings for Sam would finally quell this longing inside him. Nothing else had.

“That wasn’t why,” Sam blurted and watched Gabe’s smile fall into a confused frown.

“What do you mean?” Comprehension seemed to dawn then. “Are you saying you _were_ angry with me?” The hurt in his voice was a knife in Sam’s stomach.

“No!” Sam hurried to reassure him. “No, nothing like that. The opposite of that, really.”

The confusion on Gabriel’s face only increased.

“This is really hard for me to say, and I’m not even sure I should _be_ saying it, but... I had to stay away from you and Dean once he stopped working so much because... God, there’s just no easy way to say this, is there?” Sam yanked a hand through his hair, trying to rein in his thoughts. “Gabe, I fell in love with you while I was dating Sarah. Hell, maybe even before that. It’s why I broke things off with her.” He forced himself to look into his stunned friend’s eyes. “You really didn’t even suspect?”

Gabe toyed with his glass before he spoke. “Sam, how could I have guessed? I didn’t even know you weren’t straight until yesterday.”

Gabriel’s face was shocked, but shuttered. Sam had no idea what Gabe might be thinking or feeling in response to his bombshell. He watched as Gabriel downed half his drink—which would have been fine if it hadn’t had alcohol in it. He coughed and spluttered a little before getting himself under control.

Sam took the opportunity to try and lighten the mood. “Hope you’re not going to drink like that when we’re partners.” He pretended calling them partners didn’t give him pain in the chest and smiled to show he was teasing.

“I will try to contain my wanton ways while we are working together.” Gabriel’s smile was wan.

Sam frowned. “Are you okay? Should I not have told you?”

“No, I’m fine, really, I just....” Gabriel shook his head. “I’m just surprised. Shocked, really. I didn’t... I had no idea.” He stared down at his picked-over salad plate. Then he looked up suddenly. “Wait, you broke up with her the day Dean and I got married.”

Sam nodded, knowing there was no point denying the obvious conclusion. “I was planning to tell you how I felt the next day.” He shrugged. “Obviously, that didn’t work out.” He gave a laugh he didn’t feel and fiddled with his napkin again. “So, then I spent all that time with you alone, which was great, but it meant I couldn’t get over you. When Dean started being around again, I had to have some space to try to do that.”

“And were you able to do that?”

To Sam it felt like Gabriel was holding his breath, but of course that was silly. Gabe certainly wouldn’t want Sam to still have feelings for him. He seemed to be having a hard enough time grasping that he ever had. Sam smiled a little more sincerely this time.

“I’m sure I will any day now.” He saw the waitress returning with their food and cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’d like for you to work with me. If it’s going to be too weird, now that you know—”

“No! No, Sam, it’s fine.” He opened his mouth, but closed it again without saying more. Before he could try again, a plate arrived in front of him, and he busied himself interacting with the waitress.

“Thanks,” Sam murmured as his own plate was handed to him.

He took a few bites, allowing them both time to process their prior conversation—and hopefully move past it. The last thing he wanted was to have screwed up even their friendship.

“Sam, I’m glad you told me. And of course I want to work with you. You are still very important to me, you know. I didn’t stop caring about you just because... well, let’s put all that behind us, shall we?” Gabriel smiled and started eating, not looking at Sam any longer.

Gabriel was subdued the rest of meal. Several times both at the table and back in the car he seemed on the verge of speaking, but he never did. Sam worried that telling him had been a mistake, but it was too late now. Gabriel hadn’t even said the thing that Sam had both dreaded and needed to hear. He’d waited, but that simple “I can’t and don’t feel that way about you” had never come.

The silence had become tense by the time Sam pulled back into the parking garage. Sam found a space and pulled in, killing the engine. With a brief look at Gabriel—who was staring at the glove compartment as if there were a movie playing there—he moved to get out of the car. He was stopped by a hand on his arm.

“Sam.”

Sam turned back to find Gabriel giving him a beseeching look.

“Like you, I don’t know if this is a good idea or a bad one, but I need you to know that—” He closed his eyes and quickly took and released a deep breath. When he opened his eyes again, he said, “If you had been able to tell me how you felt, before I married Dean, my life would be very different now.”

Sam’s heart lurched and thundered, even as fire and ice raced across his skin. “What are you saying?” he whispered.

“You were not the only one with feelings, Sam.” He seemed to realize that he still had his hand on Sam and pulled it away. “Still, perhaps these things happen for a reason. In less than two months, your brother and I will have been married for two years.”

There was a light in Gabriel’s eyes as he said it that crushed the light in Sam’s. Of course. Regardless of whether he had once had feelings for Sam, he was now married to Dean. He loved Dean. And Sam was no longer relevant.

“I should get back to work.”

Sam cleared his throat. “Right. Um, as soon as I hear back from Brady whether there’s any problem with the papers, I’m going to make the announcement to Bela. She’ll probably want to meet with the three of us at some point and you might have to sign your own papers, I don’t know.”

Gabe smiled softly. “Just let me know when you need me, Sam. Thank you for this. And for everything. I’m so glad we had our talk today.” He looked away for a moment, then back. “I’m sorry that I hurt you, however accidentally, but I am glad you didn’t give up on our friendship. Who knows? Maybe one day soon you’ll realize it was all for the best.”

The smile Gabriel gave him then was sunny and warm, and Sam couldn’t help but respond to it, even as his heart broke all over again. He smiled back and nodded, not trusting himself to speak just then. He watched Gabe get out and then got out himself. He made an excuse about needing something from the trunk, so that Gabriel would go on inside.

Sam wasn’t the crying sort, most of the time. He was very in touch with his feelings and always had been, but tears never came easily to him. At this moment, however, he felt them burning behind his eyes, clogging his nose and putting an ache in his throat he didn’t think he could swallow past. As he watched Gabe walk away, he took deep breaths through his mouth, trying to quell the urge. After a full minute, he finally felt like he might be emotionally stable enough to walk inside.

                                              

# CHAPTER SIX

The next week was hectic for both of them, as well as Chuck. Sam certainly didn’t regret choosing Chuck as his assistant, for more than one reason. For one thing, when they’d gone to take the papers to Becky, Chuck and Bela’s secretary had been instantly smitten with each other. Since he’d be having to visit Bela more often now, Sam was relieved that Becky’s attention had been diverted.

On top of that, getting the new department up and running would have taken a lot longer if not for Chuck’s natural gift for organization. His ability to reach into the chaos and create something ordered was nothing short of magical. Sam appreciated it greatly and made it a point to send Chuck a muffin basket as a thank you, as well as thanking Gabriel for suggesting him in the first place.

“I feel like I should be thanking _you_ , Sam!” Chuck gushed the day the basket arrived. “Becky is amazing and if not for you, I might never have met her! Not much reason for me to meet with Bela in my old job. I’d seen Becky around once or twice, of course, but you know how Bela liked to keep her isolated from the rest of us.”

It was actually a fact for which Sam had always been a little grateful, but he nodded sympathetically, just the same. “Sure. Well, I’m glad it’s worked out for you. You two seem well suited to each other.”

“Yeah.” Chuck sighed the word with a dreamy smile.

“Well, anyway, thank you again for the great job you’re doing. I should get back to my office.”

If only things with Gabriel were going as well. Oh, he was perfect for the job, just as Sam had known he would be. That wasn’t an issue at all. And Gabe, as always, was pleasant to be around, slow to anger or even irritate, and usually had great ideas.

No, the problem was that they had to work very closely right now. That sometimes meant physically close. They had to put in long hours, huddled over the same table, trying to figure out the logistics of their new endeavor—Chuck could only plan and organize so much of their department, after all. There was still plenty that was entirely up to them.

Being forced into that small space with Gabriel, having to sit or stand side by side with him, that was taking a toll on Sam. For one thing, he’d forgotten how great Gabe smelled. It was hard to ignore, now that body heat and long hours were making his scent more pronounced, and Sam was so close to him all the time. One of them would hand the other papers or lean close to point something out, and all Sam wanted to do was sit or stand there and inhale for the next year.

That wasn’t quite true. Life would be simpler if smelling Gabriel was _all_ he wanted to do. It really wasn’t. Usually, catching a whiff of Gabe’s cologne led to Sam losing himself in a daydream about kissing Gabriel, or what else he might do to him on that conference table, if only—as Sam never quite managed to forget—Gabriel was not married to Sam’s brother.

They’d been working together a little over a month when things finally came to a head. They were working an hour or so later than normal. Dean had had a rare overnight stay, so Gabriel had told Sam he was willing to work as late as necessary that Friday to try and get caught up on the departmental structural planning they had been behind on since they started. Because of that, they had eaten at the small table in what passed for their conference room, and then started poring over a report, looking for problem areas.

“So, you see where the number of imports is listed, next to the expenditures for marketing?” Gabriel asked.

“Um... wait, where?”

Gabe scooted his chair closer so that he could see Sam’s sheet. He leaned close and ran his finger across the page until he found the right spot. “Right here, see?” He turned his head to look at Sam as he asked the question.

Sam, who had been inhaling deeply, looked up with half-lidded eyes into Gabe’s hazel ones. He swallowed as he waited for Gabriel to pull back, but he didn’t. Instead of leaning back, Gabe leaned forward, staring back and forth between Sam’s eyes and his lips. Sam licked his lips, lost in a haze of deep-seated _want_.

For a moment after Gabriel’s lips brushed his, he allowed himself to bask in the warmth and softness. He let himself press forward, sealing them more tightly together. He gave permission for his lips to part and for Gabe’s tongue to come sweeping in between them. Then Dean’s face appeared in his head and he forced himself to pull back, pushing Gabriel away and breaking the forbidden and ill-advised kiss.

“Gabe! I—you—We can’t!” He stood up abruptly.

“Sam! Sam, wait!” Gabriel called after him.

Sam ignored him, though, and ran into his office to grab his things before heading toward the elevator. Gabe came after him, calling his name, but Sam held up a hand as he stepped into the elevator.

“No, Gabriel, please, okay? I can’t... I can’t be around you right now. I’ll... I’ll call you later or something. Or we’ll talk about it tomorrow, but right now... right now, I just _can’t._ ” He pressed the door close button, watching Gabe’s sad, scared face slowly disappear as the doors slid together.

He closed his eyes as the car lurched downward, wanting nothing more than to make the elevator go right back up and so he could run right back into Gabe’s arms. _Shit_. He’d just kissed his brother’s husband. What was he _doing_? And sure, okay, Gabriel had technically started it, but Sam had let it happen. He’d stopped it, but not before he’d kissed back and _Oh, God_ did he wish he was still doing it. Even knowing it was wrong. Even knowing what a piece of shit it made him. He wanted it more than he’d maybe ever wanted anything in his life.

 _Gabriel._ What was this hold he had on Sam? What was it about him that Sam couldn’t seem to shake? Sam tried to think of negative things about him, but he couldn’t come up with any. He knew the man must have flaws of some kind, but none were coming to mind just now.

Aside from, apparently, that he was at least moderately willing to be unfaithful, Sam supposed. That was definitely a flaw. No more disloyal than Sam himself, though. That much was made obvious by the fact that, while Sam felt guilty over the kiss, he couldn’t exactly say he was _sorry_ for it. Sorry that Gabe and Dean were married, yes. Sorry he and Gabriel had kissed, though? Remembering how Gabe’s lips and tongue had felt against his own, he couldn’t with any degree of honesty express regret that he knew those sensations now.

“I’m a complete asshole,” he told the empty elevator, just as it opened up in the parking garage.

Just as he reached his car, his cellphone went off with a few texts, but he ignored it until he’d gotten in and gotten the car started.

**GABRIEL: I’m sorry please don’t hate me Sam**

**GABRIEL: It was a momentary weakness**

**GABRIEL: It won’t happen again**

Sam took a shuddering breath and set his phone aside. He didn’t think he could answer right now. He heard the phone go off again, but left it where it lay as he backed out and got started out of the garage. Just as he started forward, he saw Gabriel exiting the elevator, looking after his car forlornly. Something inside Sam twisted and he turned his eyes back to the windshield with resolve.

The ride home was a blur. He took turns seemingly by muscle memory alone. His mind had blanked out in the parking lot after seeing Gabe, and hadn’t quite come back online yet. Or maybe the kiss is what started the process. Either way, he thought of nothing on his drive and so it was a harsh hit when it all came tumbling back to him after he stopped the car in his driveway and finally checked the latest messages.

**GABRIEL: Plz don’t tell ur brother**

**GABRIEL: Or at least wait until after our annivs**

Sam sat in the car, staring at his phone for a long moment. Then he finally typed out a reply, that avoided his own feelings all together.

**ME: Does he know that you had feelings for me before you got married?**

Sam didn’t expect an immediate response, since Gabe’s ride home was longer than his, so he stuffed the phone in his pocket and got out. He felt like every foot fall was manual labor. It seemed to take weeks just to get across the lawn and up to the front door. He let himself inside and stared across his empty living room with a frown. He had a great new job and a nice house, but there was no one to share it with, so did it really matter?

He kicked his shoes off and tossed his briefcase down. His tie had been loosened hours before, but he took it the rest of the way off and slid out of his jacket. Then he bypassed the couch and headed straight for the small bar he kept in the corner. He put a few cubes of ice in a glass and added a generous splash of whiskey. Holding the drink carefully in front of him, he lay back on the couch and grabbed the remote for the TV.

He flipped mindlessly, finally landing on some sort of action movie Dean probably would have known the name of, but Sam had never seen. He thought some gratuitous explosions and senseless violence—without any real story to speak of—was just what he needed right now, so he left it on. He did his best not to think about Gabriel, even though one of the actors looked a bit like him.

Despite his best intentions, however, his mind kept wandering back to that kiss. It had been everything he’d always thought it would be, and yet, nothing like his dreams at the same time. Exhausted and unable to fight against the thoughts, he finally just let himself relive the kiss. He allowed himself to fantasize that Dean’s previous lack of desire for commitment had returned, and Gabe could be his. He imagined that kiss revisited when there was nothing to inhibit them. With those sweet thoughts, he fell asleep, television still flickering light and sound to which he was oblivious.

~@~

To Sam’s surprise, things more or less returned to normal. Having the weekend apart had helped put the kiss somewhere in the realm of “feels like a dream” for Sam. So he’d been able to step back from the emotions of it all. He still wasn’t sure if he should tell Dean after their anniversary or not, but he was leaning toward not. If it was truly a momentary lapse, it would only hurt Dean needlessly. Gabe had never answered whether Dean knew about his prior feelings for Sam, but Sam assumed he did. He’d obviously thought it was okay for them to work together.

Either way, he and Gabe went back to a strictly working relationship. Things were a little less jovial between them, but that only meant they got more done and Sam couldn’t see that as a bad thing. It certainly helped him concentrate more, now that Gabriel was deliberately keeping his distance during their one on one meetings too.

By unspoken agreement, they hadn’t brought up the incident all week, but on Friday, Sam could tell Gabe had something on his mind. By the fourth time Gabriel started to speak and stopped, Sam was going crazy.

“Dude, whatever it is, just spit it out, okay? The last thing I want is for things to be awkward between us now. You can still be honest with me, you know.” He only glanced up at Gabriel, figuring less eye contact might make it easier for Gabe to speak his mind.

“The, um, the anniversary party. Are you still coming? Dean said you never texted him back.”

 _Shit_. He’d been avoiding answering because he still wasn’t sure if he could handle it. It was his brother and his friend, though. Kiss or no kiss, feelings or no feelings, he had to go. The fact that he wasn’t sure whether to tell his brother weighed heavily on him, but Gabe had asked him to wait until after the party and he fully planned to do at least that much.

“Of course. Wouldn’t miss it. I’ll text him now. Was that all?”

Gabriel nodded, relief all over his face.

“Then let’s get back to work. I wanna finish this before the weekend.”

                                              

# CHAPTER SEVEN

Sam knew, of course, that Gabriel was from Denmark. He also knew in some dim way that citizenship was something that had to be applied for, and was only available under a certain set of criteria. What had never really occurred to him was that Gabe had only been on a Visa, and hadn’t yet applied for and been granted citizenship when he’d known him.

Then, about a week and a half before the anniversary party, Sam got a letter from the INS.

_Dear Sam Winchester:_

_You are receiving this letter because of your relationship with Dean Winchester. As you probably know, his spouse, Gabriel Odinsen Winchester, has applied for permanent residency status in the United States, based on their wedded relationship._

_Once such a relationship has been extant for a period of two years, a final determination is made based on the evidence presented and a green card is issued. Because of the unique nature of your brother, Dean Winchester’s employment, it is necessary for us to conduct face to face interviews with those immediate family and friends who did not submit prior affidavits, before we make our final decision._

_Please contact my office via the phone number or email address listed above, between the hours of 8AM and 5PM on any weekday between now and two weeks from the date of receipt of this letter, to schedule an appointment for this interview, at a time and date suitable to your schedule. If I have not heard from you by the deadline, it may reflect poorly on the applicant’s status, so even if you are not available for an interview during the next month, please at least make contact with my office at your first available convenience._

_I appreciate your time and cooperation._

_Sincerely,_

_Jody Mills_

_Senior Immigration and Naturalization Services Officer_

Since it was already well past 5PM when he got the letter, Sam grabbed his computer and shot off an email, letting Ms. Mills know he’d received her letter and could be available at her convenience. Of course he would make himself available for an interview. He certainly didn’t want Gabe to get deported, or for Dean to get in trouble or lose his husband overseas.

Despite the posted hours in the letter, Sam got a response back almost immediately.

_From: jody.mills_officer.2@ins.uscis.gov_

_To: notalosechester@yahoo.com_

_Sam,_

_Thanks for getting right back to me. I actually have an early morning opening tomorrow, if you can be free around 9AM? I can come to you, if necessary. Let me know._

_Thanks,_

_Jody_

Sam fired off a quick response, agreeing to the time and having the interview at his office. Yet again, he got an answer from Officer Mills almost immediately.

_From: jody.mills_officer.2@ins.uscis.gov_

_To: notalosechester@yahoo.com_

_Sam,_

_Great! Just bring two forms of ID with you, okay? Driver’s license and if you have a security badge for work, that’s perfect. If you don’t have a badge or your birth certificate, I can temporarily waive the requirement while we wait for you to get a copy and you can just bring your letter from me, or I can fingerprint you and you won’t need a copy of the birth certificate._

_Thanks,_

_Jody_

Thankfully, Sam had a security badge for work, so he told her he’d have the necessary credentials and said he’d see her bright and early the next morning. She didn’t reply this time, so he logged off. He wasn’t particularly nervous about the interview. After all, in spite of the kiss, Sam knew how happy they’d been together over the past two years.

~@~

“Good morning, Sam,” Jody said, extending a hand across his desk.

“Ms. Mills,” he said with a smile, shaking her hand.

She laughed. “Please! Call me Jody. Ms. Mills was my maiden aunt.”

She winked at him, shattering any preconceptions he had about how an INS agent should behave. “I have my driver’s license and my security badge here.”

He passed them over and she set them on top of her briefcase, then pulled out her phone and snapped some photos. She glanced up and saw his surprise and smiled.

“Technology is pretty cool, huh?” She winked again and took another photo before handing his cards back to him. “Now.” She reached into her briefcase and pulled out some paperwork. “I have some things you’ll need to sign before we start and after we’re done. That sound okay?”

“Uh, sure, I guess. What kind of things?”

“This first one here....” She handed over a typed page. “It explains why you’re here and what we’re trying to do, and what use your words might be put to. Basically, it says you understand that what you say is confidential within the department, but can and will be used in the evaluation of the marital status of your brother and his husband, and that the things you say may be relayed to them, should you disclose anything suspicious about their relationship. Further, if you perjure yourself, you may be subject to prosecution that could result in fines or even jail time.”

He quickly read over the paper and signed it before handing it back.

“Great! Now, afterward, you’ll need to sign a paper saying that you are in fact Sam Winchester, that everything you told me was true to the best of your knowledge and that kind of thing.” She pulled out a clipboard and a pen, then set her phone on the briefcase. “Do you mind if I record this? I have a separate waiver for that. I don’t intend to make the recording available unless it’s subpoenaed or something, but I find it’s best to help avoid he said-she said situations.”

“Sure, hand me the waiver.” He took and signed that too.

“All right, then. Let’s get started, shall we? Unless you have any questions?” At his negative headshake, she nodded. “Okay, can you start by stating and spelling your full name, please?”

It took a couple of minutes to go over all the identification questions, establishing who he was and how he knew Dean and Gabriel. She was surprised to hear that Gabe worked with him now, but didn’t seem worried by it, once he explained how short a time that had been the case.

“Now it’s time for the more difficult stuff. Or not. That all depends on your answers, I suppose.” She scanned the page in front of her briefly. “Now, your brother’s employer has not been very diligent about keeping records, which means we have been unable to verify a few things about his work history. I am hoping you can help with that.”

“Uh, okay, sure. What do you need to know?”

“Well, what can you tell me about his work prior to his marriage to Gabriel?” She glanced at him, then back down at her paper, pen poised to take down his answers.

“Let’s see... he’s worked for that same company for years now, but I think he started the contract work—um, that’s where he gets hired out, through his employer, to do jobs in other markets in other cities—about six months or so before he met Gabe? He might have started a little earlier than that, but he started being gone a lot around then, anyway.”

“All right, so the out of town jobs weren’t something he started after they were married?”

“Oh, no, not at all. He tried to get out of the overnight jobs after they got married, actually, but they wouldn’t let him transfer until he’d been doing it for at least another six months, because he had to train a replacement.”

“So you don’t believe that he was avoiding being at home with his husband during that time?” Jody’s voice and face gave away nothing about what she herself believed.

Sam had to laugh. “No, not at all. In fact, Dean was so worried about Gabe being alone that he asked me to spend time with him whenever he was away.” He didn’t want to talk about this, but he also didn’t want Dean to lose his husband—and he didn’t want to lose Gabriel himself. “I, um... I’ve never seen my brother like that with anyone. I mean, he’s always had a maternal streak, but he never really....” Sam broke off, shrugging. “He has always been very protective of Gabe, let’s put it that way.”

Jody nodded, not saying anything to indicate whether his answers were helping or not. He wasn’t sure why he was nervous suddenly, but he did his best to curb it.

“It’s funny, I don’t think Dean referred to Gabriel as Gabe more than once or twice, but you seem to call him that exclusively.”

“Do I? Hm, I think of him both ways. Um, I’ve actually known him about a year longer than Dean, though, so that’s probably part of it.”

“Oh, really?” Jody looked up at that, surprised.

“Yeah. I introduced them, actually.”

She slapped her forehead. “That’s right. I remember Dean mentioning that now.” She grinned and shook her head.

For the first time, Sam suspected her laidback manner was to put people at ease and make them more likely to slip up. He resisted the urge to squirm in his chair, as the kiss he’d shared with Gabriel suddenly rose into his brain unbidden.

“All right, I just have one or two more questions and then we’ll be finished. What do you know about Castiel Jensen-Koch?”

“Who?” Then Jody’s pronunciation morphed into Gabriel’s in his head. “Oh, Gabriel’s friend? Um, not a lot? I mean, I’ve seen him a couple times, but that’s about it. What does he have to do with this?”

Jody bit her lip and chewed lightly, as if silently deliberating. She reached over and pressed a button on her phone, then held it up to show the recording was paused. “Sam, I like you and I think you’ve been straight with me, so I’m going to cut the bullshit and just ask you my next question straight out, all right?”

“Yeah, that would be good, actually.” He kept his opinion that this was just another ploy to himself.

She sighed. “From everything I’ve heard, you and your brother are pretty close. And I’m sure that, while you want to think the best of him, you probably know his faults better than anyone. So I’m going to ask you this and hope that you’ll be totally honest with me, okay?” She waited for his nod. “In your opinion, what is the likelihood that your brother would enter into a marriage for the sole purpose of helping someone obtain a green card?”

Sam couldn’t help it. He laughed. “My brother? My brother wouldn’t even move in with someone if he didn’t like their musical tastes. No way would he marry someone unless he was completely gone on them.” Then he remembered her previous question. “But what has that got to do with Castiel?”

“To be honest, I’m not sure. I just know this whole thing seemed a hundred percent legit, right up until I spoke with Mr. Jensen-Koch. I think he has feelings for your brother. And it started me wondering if those feelings were returned.” She shrugged.

Sam sobered completely and asked her to turn the recording back on, waiting to speak until she did so.

“Jody, I can tell you this with absolute certainty. If my brother is anything, it’s loyal to a fault.” He frowned as his kiss with Gabe rose up in his head again. “Whether or not Castiel may have feelings for my brother, that doesn’t mean my brother has them back, and he wouldn’t act on them if he did. If he’d been in love with someone else, he wouldn’t have married Gabriel.” He shook his head. “And he didn’t even meet Cas until about six months ago, anyway.”

Jody smiled and this time, it looked warm and genuine. “Thank you, Sam. I think that’s all I need.”

                                              

# CHAPTER EIGHT

After Jody left, Gabriel came into his office, looking concerned. “Was that my INS officer?”

“Yeah, they’re interviewing people before they make their final decision. I was just coming to talk to you.”

Gabe looked panicked. “Why? Is there a problem? What did she say? Am I getting deported?”

“Hey, whoa, Gabriel, just breathe, all right? I’m sure it’s gonna be fine.”

Sam watched as Gabe closed his eyes and took slow deep breaths. He still looked a little unsteady when he opened them again, but he looked calmer, at least. Sam led him over to a chair, trying to ignore the little sparks of electricity that seemed to shoot between them and light up his senses wherever they touched.

“Okay, I can tell you everything we talked about, but I’m pretty sure I set her mind at ease on a few points.”

“What points? Why is she even interviewing people?” Seeming to realize he was getting hysterical again, Gabriel took a few more breaths, staring at Sam this time. “I’m sorry. It’s just... living here means everything to me. Everything I love is here in America.”

“I know, Gabe.” Sam ignored the pang of jealousy he felt toward his brother in that moment. “Look, they’re interviewing mostly because of how weird Dean’s job is. The fact that he was away so much after you got married triggered a red flag, so they’re following up. I explained that to Jody and she seemed to accept I was telling the truth.” Sam scratched his nose, debating on whether to mention the rest.

“Um, there was another thing, but I think I set the record straight on that too.” He chewed his lip and stared at Gabriel’s questioning look for a long time before he answered it. “Castiel. I know you two are friends, but how well do you know him?”

“Cassie? He’s like a brother to me.” Gabriel was frowning. “He’s good friends with Dean too. Why?”

Sam sighed. “The thing is, one of Jody’s concerns was how Castiel acted when he answered her questions. She said she got the feeling that he had feelings for Dean.”

Gabriel’s face went red and he leapt up. “That son of a _bitch_!” he said, sounding so like Dean. He ran out of the room and over to his office.

Sam looked after him in confusion. Was Gabriel really that upset over it? Had he forgotten they had shared a kiss? He might want to consider whether to throw jealous stones right now. Sam was a little annoyed by Gabe’s reaction, actually. He decided to go and talk to him about it. When he got to the door outside Gabriel’s office, though, he could hear yelling.

“—you selfish _prick! Du ved hvor vigtigt det er!_ You know how important! Du ville _bringe_ det for mig? Jeopardize everything I’ve worked for? _Fanden_ , Castiel! You know what I’ve gone through for this! Du _ved_!”

Gabriel went quiet then, presumably listening, but Sam thought he’d heard enough. He’d never heard Gabriel so angry. He didn’t sound like a man scorned, though. He sounded... Sam hesitated to even think it. Yet there was no denying what he’d heard. He sounded like someone who’d been pulling something devious and was about to get caught.

Had Gabriel tricked Dean into marrying him in order to get a green card? What the hell was going on? He needed to think about this. The thing was, he didn’t have a lot of time. Their anniversary was in a few days. He knew Jody wouldn’t take long to make her decision and he had to make a choice whether to say something to her or not.

He started to walk away, but then Gabe started speaking again. “Castiel, I’m sorry I yelled, but you know how much this means to me. Jeg elsker ham, Cassie. I can’t leave him and go home, Jeg kan _ikke_.”

Sam walked away then, chagrined. Of course Gabriel hadn’t been lying about his feelings for Dean. Sam was imagining things. It had been a strange few weeks. More confusing than Sam could recall in a long time.

~@~

“Sammy!” Dean cried as he opened the door. He’d already started on the alcohol part of the party, if the hug he yanked Sam into was any indication. “How’s my favorite baby bro, huh? Get in here. Party’s just getting started, you’re just in time. Hey, Gabriel! It’s Sammy!” With that he was off, chasing the door bell like an excited puppy.

Sam smiled and shook his head, trying not to feel guilty or think _I kissed your husband_ too loudly. Gabriel smiled and waved from across the room, holding up a cup of punch in invitation. Sam walked over to take it from him.

“Congratulations, Gabe.” He smiled and tried not to wish he was the one celebrating his anniversary with Gabriel. Or think about their kiss.

“Thank you, Sam. It means a lot that you’re here.” Gabe gave him a pointed look.

Sam chewed his lip. “Look, I haven’t decided if I’m going to say anything or not. I mean, we were both there, you know?” He looked around to make sure there wasn’t anyone within earshot. “We both... participated. I feel shitty about it, and I don’t know what to do.” _The truth is, I want to kiss you again right now._

Gabriel opened his mouth to speak, but there was a sudden interruption before he could manage more than, “Sam—”

“Everybody!” Dean called out from behind Sam. “It looks like everyone is here now, so Gabriel and I have an important announcement to make! Where’s Gabe? C’mere, Gabe! We threw this bash under the disguise of being about our anniversary, but it’s really not. Gabe, c’mere, man!”

Gabriel gave Sam an apologetic look and walked over, clearly uncomfortable in Dean’s drunken one-armed embrace. He winced when Dean shouted again, a little too close to his ear.

“My little honey here got some great news today! Tell ‘em, baby!”

Gabe continued to look uncomfortable, but he smiled, anyway. “They have approved my application for permanent residency in the United States. I will receive my card within the next week.”

“So you’re a citizen now?” Chuck asked.

“Well, no, not yet. I have to wait to apply for that. I can do that once I’ve been a permanent resident for five years.”

“Actually, it’s three years, if you’re married to a citizen,” Castiel said, making intense eye contact with Gabriel.

Sam got a funny feeling at the look that passed between them. He tried to shake it off, but it reminded him of the phone conversation he’d overheard between them. He felt a little sick and wasn’t sure why. He smiled along with everyone else and offered his congratulations, but he wasn’t sure what to make of the tension between Gabriel and the friend he had proclaimed “as close as a brother.”

Before he could think too much on it, Chuck walked over with Becky on his arm. “Hey, Sam! Great party, huh? Have you tried the punch? It’s awesome!”

His normally intense gaze was dulled a bit by how heavily lidded his eyes were with obvious intoxication, but the blue was intensified by how bloodshot they were. Sam was pretty sure Chuck had done more than imbibe some punch. He couldn’t smell anything, but there were other ways to take in illegal substances. His suspicions were confirmed by Becky.

“We brought brownies!” she said, giggling. “But we weren’t allowed to bring the good ones inside. Dean-o said no-o.”

She and Chuck laughed hysterically at her joke and Sam took the opportunity to walk away and seek other companions. He caught a glimpse of Dean and Castiel in the hallway, but before he could look any closer, Charlie popped into his field of vision.

“Hey, Sam! Long time no see, huh? You never come over for Dungeons and Dragons anymore. What gives?” No one could pout quite like Charlie Bradbury, that was for sure.

“Oh, yeah, sorry, Charlie. I’ve been super busy with work. I just got promoted, you know. They gave me my own department with Gabe and Chuck, actually. It’s kind of taken up all my time for a while.”

She gave him a squinty-eyed stare. “Well, I guess I forgive you, but there’s a LARP tournament in a few weeks, you gotta come, okay? I miss you, you know.”

He smiled and pulled her in for a reassuring hug. “Will do, Red. I’ve missed you too.”

That evidently appeased her because she walked away, toward the punch bowl. He tried to check on Castiel and Dean again, but he felt a tug on his shirt sleeve. Turning toward the source, he found Gabriel, licking his lips and looking uncomfortable.

“Sam, may I speak with you privately?”

“Um, okay. Where?”

“I think maybe the kitchen will be the best place. I didn’t get to finish what I wanted to say earlier.”

“All right, let’s go.”

Sam wasn’t entirely sure it was a good idea to be alone with Gabriel when they’d both had a little alcohol, but since Sam had barely had a couple of sips of his drink, he supposed it didn’t matter. It wasn’t much different than a day at work, after all. So thinking, he downed the rest of his glass of punch in one gulp.

He watched Gabriel step into the kitchen, light catching the highlights of his hair and turning them bright gold. When he turned around, the green parts of his eyes stood out more than usual against the golden brown, and Sam thought he’d never looked more handsome. He swallowed heavily, trying to ignore those thoughts, and the ones about how Gabriel’s lips had felt against his own. Gabe was married to Dean. This was their _anniversary_ party. And Sam... _I’m such an asshole_.

“What did you want to talk about?” he forced himself to ask, even though he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer.

“Sam, about what happened—”

“Did Dean know you had feelings for me back then? When you got married, I mean?” Sam didn’t even know why he asked. He didn’t want a reminder of how great their relationship seemed to be. Even if he probably needed one.

“No. At the time, it didn’t seem relevant.” Gabriel sighed and motioned Sam closer. “Listen, I wanted to say... I’m not sorry that I kissed you, Sam. I know you regret it and you hate that it happened, but I promise, it’s not as bad as it seems.”

Sam just stared at him, incredulous. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Sam, look, the truth is, I still have feelings for you. They never went away. I don’t think they will.”

Gabriel reached out and took Sam’s hand, but Sam snatched it away. “Gabe, what are you doing?” he hissed. “Dean is in the other room! He’s my _brother_ —”

“Sam, it’s not what you think—”

“No, Gabe, what the hell happened to “I love him, I can’t leave him,” huh? What about that?”

Gabriel’s expression registered confusion and then annoyance. “I meant every word of that. That’s what I am trying to tell you—”

“No, Gabe, you know what? Just leave me the hell alone. I don’t know what to think right now, but I know I can’t talk to you anymore at this exact moment. Just leave me alone until I figure it out.”

Sam felt slightly dizzy as he spun away and wondered just what the hell was in that punch he drank. He stalked out of the kitchen and saw Dean and Castiel exiting one of the bedrooms, looking exactly like two people who had been kissing each other’s faces off. Dean saw him and froze, eyes wide.

“Sam, wait—”

“Fuck you, Dean,” he said, quietly but clearly enough that Dean could hear. Then he stepped outside for some much-needed air.

He stood out in the fresh air and let the breeze soothe him and help clear his head. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing and hearing tonight. Dean was kissing someone else? Gabriel was hitting on him? It was their own anniversary party and they were acting like this? Sam felt tears start to choke him. They weren’t sad tears this time, they were angry.

He was pretty sure that Gabriel had duped Dean into marrying him so he could get a green card. And now Dean—loyal to a fault, wouldn’t cheat on anyone, ever, Dean—was starting up a relationship with one of Gabriel’s best friends, one Gabe considered a brother. Gabe, meanwhile, had kissed Dean’s _actual_ brother, Sam himself.

“We are all complete assholes. Did I really think Gabriel had no faults? He’s apparently a _completely_ different person than I thought.”

It finally occurred to Sam he was talking out loud to himself and he stopped. He walked over and sat on the swing instead, pushing himself back and forth. That made his head swim, so he lowered the intensity of his pushes, until it was just a gentle sway that didn’t make him so light-headed. He sat there on the swing until he felt mostly normal again, then forced himself to go back inside to the party.

                                              

# CHAPTER NINE

Sam avoided Dean and Gabriel as much as he could for the rest of the evening. Whenever one of them would walk up while he was talking to someone else, he would make small talk for a moment before making an excuse and walking over to a different group. Eventually, however, the guests started to leave, in cabs or with their designated drivers, and it was harder to avoid them entirely.

Still, the lack of privacy that smaller groups brought meant neither of them addressed the issues they wanted to speak with him about. He stayed because he knew people would talk if he left early—and also because he wanted to have the confrontation he felt brewing inside him. He was tired of feeling shitty, when they had done so much wrong themselves.

He held on, then, until one by one, all the other guests made their exits. He was a little pissed off when Castiel was the last to go and Dean walked him outside. However, since it left he and Gabriel alone, he took the opportunity to start the confrontation.

“Gabe, you can cut your sweet, innocent foreigner act. I’m not buying it anymore.”

Gabriel looked like he’d been slapped. “Sam, nothing is like you think at all!”

“You tricked my brother into marrying you, didn’t you?” he yelled, unable to hold back any longer. “You convinced him you loved him and took advantage of him so you could stay in the country! You’re so fucking different from what I thought, man! I thought you were this kind, decent, sweet guy and... you’re not. You’re not at all!” Sam started to cry, possibly still more affected by the alcohol than he thought. “You’re slimy and underhanded and selfish and—”

“Hey, whoa, what the fuck is going on in here?”

“Gabe kissed me, Dean. A couple of weeks ago—”

“That doesn’t mean you can just stand there and call him names. He fucked up, big deal. Calm your ass down, Sam.”

That did it. “Calm down? Calm _down_? Are you fucking kidding me? You think just because you kissed Castiel tonight that magically makes it okay that he kissed me, is that it?”

Gabriel looked less stunned than Sam would have expected, but he supposed since Gabriel was a lying—

“Wait just a damn minute, Sam. Can you try listening for a second? Huh? None of this is what you think, all right. Just give me a minute.”

“Gabriel married you so he could get a green card, Dean. That’s the plain truth.”

He regretted breaking the news so harshly, but if Dean was kissing other people, he supposed it didn’t matter. He never expected Dean’s response to be _laughter_ , however. He looked at his brother as if he’d grown a second head, but he couldn’t make any words come out, so great was his anger and confusion.

“Fucking _duh_ , Sam. That’s what Gabe and I would both be explaining to you right now if you would shut the fuck up and actually listen.”

Sam finally found his voice enough to give a pained, hoarse, barely-audible, “What?”

“Sit down, Sam.”

Dean pushed a chair over and Sam dutifully fell into it.

“There. Now, just let me and Gabriel explain ourselves and everything will make sense, all right? Please?”

Sam nodded, unable to make sense of what was happening. He thought the alcohol was maybe still in his system more than he’d thought.

“I was not long from losing my Visa when you introduced me to your brother,” Gabriel said. “You’ve figured that much out, but the fact being, Dean knew this.” He faltered then and Dean took up the tale.

“He was all upset, thinking he was going to have to leave the country—and you, though he didn’t tell me that part at the time—and he was drowning his sorrows at the Road House. And me, well, I’d done some dumb shit and gotten myself into some gambling debts I couldn’t get out of because I was stupid enough to borrow money from this guy named Crowley.”

Sam wanted to interrupt in order to chastise his brother, but when he tried to open his mouth, they both glared him back into silence. He held his tongue by chewing his lip. He couldn’t believe the things he was hearing. It had all been a lie?

“So I’m in there to drink away _my_ blues and Gabriel’s drinking _his_ blues away just down the bar.” Dean shrugged. “And I finally sidle over and ask him if he wants to drink away our blues together.”

“You hit on me, you mean.”

“Well, hey, you looked a lot hotter when I was shit-faced.”

“You’re a weed made of dicks.”

Dean snorted and Gabe grinned back at him. “A weed made of dicks? Dude, seriously?”

“Can you two stop flirting long enough to get on with the story?” Sam didn’t know what it said that it took the jealousy over watching them flirt to give him back his voice.

“This is not flirting. This is friendly banter. We’re buddies, Sam. Roomies. That’s all it is and all it’s ever been.”

“I was in love with you then, Sam, and I still am.”

Gabriel’s words cut through him, leaving him open and vulnerable and exposed. Sam couldn’t speak.

Dean scoffed. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, gooey emotional stuff, but let’s get through the rest of the story first, huh?”

For once Sam was a little bit grateful to Dean for ruining a moment. He wasn’t sure what to do with Gabriel’s words yet. They’d both lied to him for two years, after all. How was he supposed to respond?

“Yes, all right. At any rate, Dean approached me and we drank together for a while. Eventually, we both spilled beans about our troubles. I suggested a mutual benefits solution of him marrying me and I would pay his gambling debts.”

“And we didn’t tell you or anybody we know the truth because we knew they might interview you. It was a remote possibility, we hoped, but we didn’t want any of you to have to lie.” Dean scrubbed a hand across the back of his neck, a sure sign he was either feeling guilty or embarrassed. “The thing was, I had no idea you two had feelings for each other when I asked you to keep an eye on Gabriel here. I just knew it would look better to the INS people if I made sure Gabe was looked after while I was gone.”

“He didn’t know that I would fall only deeper in love with you with every second that we spent together.”

Sam’s heart flipped in his chest. “I know the feeling,” he said softly.

“Okay, seriously? Can we focus?”

“On what? How you fell in love with Castiel the very first night you met _him_? Like our fake story come to life?” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Castiel was the only person who knew the truth. He actually guessed, and since he had been through the process of applying for residency, I assumed he could handle the pressure. Apparently, his feelings for Dean overcame his good sense.”

“Hey! I’m plenty special too, you know. Just ‘cause you fell for the lesser Winchester brother doesn’t mean other people can’t see how awesome I am!”

Dean’s face fell into something softer then, something Sam had only thought he’d seen on his face when he used to look at Gabriel.

“Cas really is the best, though, Sam. I know we shouldn’t have kissed at the party tonight, but... I just couldn’t wait any more. I think that’s probably why Gabriel kissed you. We’ve both been pining and lying for so damn long, man. It sucked.”

“You weren’t so bad to live with, Dean, but your brother has better hair.”

“Hey, you take that back!”

Sam grinned for the first time in what felt like days. “How did I miss it all this time? You two fight like brothers. You really are just friends, aren’t you?”

“That’s what we’ve been trying to tell you, Sam! Gabriel and I aren’t in love and never were.”

Sam smiled harder, but then his face fell. “But that still doesn’t solve the problem. You’re still married and living the lie, right? I mean, Gabe still has to apply for citizenship.”

“It’s not a problem, actually. Once I receive the green card—which is not green, did you know?”

“Gabriel—”

“All right, Dean, hush. Once I receive the card, there are only certain conditions under which it can be taken away, like criminal activity. Dean and I will be free to divorce. We will wait a few months, for the sake of propriety and to make certain that they have closed their investigation, but the chances are low that they won’t. Then I have five years to wait until I can apply for citizenship.”

“So, you’re going to start telling people now?”

Dean and Gabriel shared a look. “Actually, we were thinking we should stage a break up, Sammy. Um, like, maybe Gabriel got caught cheating on me with you?”

“ _What_?” Sam asked, incredulous.

“Sammy—”

“No. If anything, Dean, _you_ should get caught cheating. I mean, not only does that keep me out of your bullshit, but it’s also less likely to cause suspicion if word gets back to INS, right?”

“Oh. Good pointing, Sam. You are definitely the smarter brother.” Gabe beamed at him.

“Would you two shut up and just kiss already? _After_ I leave the room. Cas is coming back over once we’re done, anyway.”

Neither Sam nor Gabriel had any objections to the plan. No sooner had Dean cleared the doorway than Sam was pulling Gabriel to him by the face, planting a sloppy open-mouthed kiss right on his lips. Gabriel kissed back with obvious pleasure. When their libidos might have gotten away from them, Sam pulled back.

“Gabriel, I know it’s not real and I know it’s almost over, but....” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair to keep from reaching out and pulling Gabriel back in. “You’re still married to my brother. I know we’ve waited a long time, but do you think we could wait a little bit longer?”

“All right, Sam. If that’s what you want.” He didn’t look happy about the situation, but he did look resigned.

Just then the doorbell rang. “I got it!” Dean yelled, his footfalls thundering as he all but ran for the door. “Hey, Cas! Sammy knows, so everything’s good.”

“Oh, thank God,” Castiel could be heard saying before it all went quiet.

They waited a few moments, but heard nothing else, so Sam risked a look, which he immediately regretted.

“Oh, for the love of—you couldn’t even wait until you got to the bedroom? There are parts of you I don’t need to see, Dean! Gabe, I changed my mind. Come home with me.”

“I thought you’d never be asking,” Gabriel said with a grin.

                                              

# CHAPTER TEN

**EPILOGUE**

“I can’t believe I’m actually standing here,” Sam said. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

“Me too, Sam. I thought you could never be mine. I was so foolish.” Gabe smiled. “Still, if I had told you of my feelings, you’d never have known whether I was with you for you or the green card.”

Sam smiled back, stroking a hand along Gabriel’s cheek. “I love you.” He rolled his eyes, grinning. “God, it feels so good to finally say it.”

“I love you too, Sam. It does feel good to say.” He stepped closer. “You know what would also feel good?” He pulled Sam down into a kiss.

This time, there was no guilt lying in the back of Sam’s brain, waiting to pounce and stop him from moving forward. Now the only thing between him and the man he loved was too many clothes. The kiss was wild, ferocious, even. They’d been apart too long for there to be much tenderness just then. They would have time for that later, maybe. Right now, there was nothing but need, raw and hungry.

“Fuck, I love kissing you,” Sam whispered against Gabe’s mouth.

They were wrapped tightly up in one another, hands roaming and gripping as they sought to circumvent or even remove clothes and reach skin. The first time Gabriel’s hand touched his bare stomach, Sam gasped into Gabe’s smiling mouth.

“You like it when I touch you, Sam? I would like to touch all the more of you. Would you kindly remove the rest of your clothes so we can be getting to that?”

Sam chuckled, loving how much more Danish Gabriel seemed to get when he was aroused. He stopped laughing when Gabriel’s found his neck with his mouth and started licking and biting and sucking all his thoughts away.

“Clothes, Sam. Off, please,” Gabriel asked directly into his ear.

Sam shivered at the warm breath over such a sensitive area, but hastened to comply. He wanted them naked as much as Gabriel did. He backed away to finish removing his pants and finally they were standing before each other, completely nude.

“My name is Odinsen, but you are the one with the body of a Norse god,” Gabriel breathed as his gaze raked hungrily over Sam’s body.

Sam felt his erection grow with the attention. He looked, unabashed, at Gabe’s naked form, thinking he might be short, but there was nothing else that diminished his godlike appearance.

“I don’t know. You look pretty divine to me.” There was not a hint of humor in his voice. To his own ears he sounded as awed as he felt.

Gabriel looked shocked, but stepped forward, reaching for Sam again. Sam wrapped his hands around Gabe’s waist and hoisted him up. Gabe jumped at the right time and then wrapped his legs around Sam. It was a bit of a shock to have Gabriel’s hard hot length pressing against his stomach and especially to feel Gabe’s warm, soft ass against his own aching erection, but it was a pleasant sort of shock, to say the least.

They moaned in unison at the sensations and then fell back to kissing with fervor. Sam’s hands roamed until eventually they fell naturally to cup Gabriel’s pert and perfect ass. He squeezed and kneaded it, causing Gabe to groan with pleasure.

“I am switch more than a bottoming person, but tonight, I would really like for you being inside me, Sam!” Gabriel murmured into his ear.

Sam smiled softly at the broken English, marveling at how quickly his brilliant, put-together Gabriel was falling apart in his hands. It made him giddy. He kissed him harder, grinding with purpose against Gabe’s ass, and even spreading Gabe’s cheeks slightly with his hands so that he could rub his cock against Gabe’s hole in a dirty tease.

He carried Gabriel to the bedroom as they kissed, grabbing the lube from the drawer before depositing Gabe on the bed. Gabe immediately got onto all fours, ass toward Sam, looking back over his shoulder. He looked shy, but eager, and Sam was amazed at how gorgeous he looked.

“Fuck, I want to get out my camera so I never forget how you look right now.”

Gabriel smiled. “So do it.”

Sam dived forward to kiss him roughly again, then ran for the other room to get his phone. He came back and took the picture. Gabriel looked even more perfect with those puffy, well-kissed lips, he thought. He smiled and set the phone aside, opening the lube. Looking back at Gabe again, he set the lube down a second time without using it yet.

Making eye contact with Gabriel one more time, he moved forward toward Gabe’s ass, using his thumbs to spread his cheeks wide. Given the high almost-squeak that Gabriel let out when Sam’s tongue swiped across his puckered hole, he hadn’t expected to be rimmed. The mewling little noises he made told Sam that he liked it, expected or not.

Sam worked his tongue across and around, over and over, before finally moving it inside, just a tiny bit. Gabe by then was panting his name in a breathless whisper that had Sam’s cock leaking against the bed spread. He lapped at Gabe some more and then plunged his tongue inside, working him open the best way he knew of. Soon he was loose enough that Sam could add a finger, then two, along with his tongue.

When Gabriel was whining and begging for mercy, Sam finally drew his activities to a reluctant halt.

“I was really enjoying that, you know,” he told Gabriel as he pulled away.

“Well, if you want me to be cumming early, please be my guest to continue. Otherwise, you should be stopped.”

Sam grinned and moved back forward, giving a few more teasing licks.

“Sam!” Gabriel whined. “Please!”

Sam relented and leaned back to grab the lube. He slicked up two fingers and pressed them forward into Gabe easily. He scissored them to test the stretch and thought Gabriel was ready, but he asked just to be sure.

“Yes, yes, I am ready, please just fuck me, Sam, please!”

Sam grabbed a condom and put it on, slicking it liberally with lube and wiping the excess over Gabe’s opening. He gave Gabriel’s balls a gentle squeeze, earning another whine from him. Then he stepped forward. The bed was low enough that Gabe was at the perfect height and Sam lined up, a hand on either side of Gabriel’s waist. He pressed forward slowly, the most gentle he’d been all night.

“Yes,” Gabe moaned slowly. “Yes, yes, yes. So good, Sam, so good.”

When Sam bottomed out, he stopped to savor the feeling of Gabriel’s tight, soft heat wrapped around him. He nearly came right then, but he pulled back enough to squeeze the base of his shaft and stop it from happening.

“It’s not so funny now, the early comings, is it?” Gabe taunted.

Sam slid out to the base of his head and then plunged back in, fast and hard, putting pressure on Gabriel’s prostate as he did so, effectively cutting off any further teasing as Gabe cried out in pleasure. Or so Sam thought. Apparently, Gabriel wasn’t done being mouthy.

“You’re terrible man. No idea what I see in you.” He was almost completely out of breath as he said it.

Sam repeated his withdrawal and fast hard thrust forward, then he set the pace fast and furious like that, knowing neither of them was going to last long, anyway.

He leaned over Gabriel’s back to whisper in his ear. “You were saying?”

Gabe’s only reply was a series of fast, high-pitched moans.

Sam managed to keep up the pace for a couple of minutes before the pleasure became too intense. The amazing sounds he was drawing from Gabe weren’t helping to slow things down any, either. He wrapped a hand around Gabriel’s thick cock and started stroking him.

“Not going to last, Gabe. Need you to cum for me, baby. Can you do that?”

Almost immediately, Gabe’s back started to bow and he began to yell. Before another ten seconds had passed, Sam could feel Gabriel’s orgasm in his hand and around his own cock. Gabriel yelled his name as he crested and then Sam reached his own zenith and pitched over, emptying his balls while deep inside Gabe. He lay against Gabriel’s back for a minute, panting and trying to catch his breath and still his heartbeat. Then he kissed Gabe between the shoulder blades and lifted up before pulling out.

“That was amazing. Be right back.”

He quickly removed and discarded his condom, then walked across to where he kept a box of baby wipes. When he turned back, Gabriel was lying on his back, looking ruefully at the sheets he’d soiled. Sam smiled and handed him a wipe, then gave the sheets a brief wipe up as well.

He looked up from his work to find Gabriel staring at him.

“Are you always such an animal in bed?”

“Um....” He laughed a little, shy and nervous now that it was over. “Maybe? I don’t really know. It’s never been quite like that before, I know that. Not used to wanting someone so much, or waiting so long to be with them.”

Gabriel’s eyes lost a little of their light and he dropped his gaze. “I’m so sorry again, Sam. If I’d known....” He sighed.

“Hey.” Sam reached out with his thumb and first finger and lifted Gabe’s face by the chin. “Like you said, if you’d known, I might have always wondered if it was really me or just the green card and gratitude.” He leaned forward and kissed Gabe again. “You’re here now. And you’re not going anywhere, right? That is _all_ that matters to me.”

Gabriel was evidently convinced. “No, Sam. I’m not going anywhere. I waited too long for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Follow my [fandom tumblr](http://iwannaliveindeansdimples.tumblr.com/) for future fics and my [author tumblr](http://jamiedeanwrites.tumblr.com/) for updates on future books!
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> ♥


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